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You need to develop your own perspective – what you want – and avoid allowing the perspective of other people to colonize your head.

You worry that you need to sweep a woman off her feet, and that you aren’t aggressive enough.

But you don’t have to date those women again, much less sleep with them. There are plenty of women who will seriously dig a more passive guy because they want to take the lead.

There are also women who will look upon your virgin status with delight because they will feel honored to initiate you. Learning what exactly you are afraid of when you say this seems important to me. Are you afraid of being physically touched, or having someone invade your personal space? I think this is worth talking about with a therapist, actually, because if you can’t figure it out, you won’t have the motivation to make changes.

Even if they reject you outright, who really cares?

The conversation you have isn’t otherwise all that different than what you might have with a female friend.but i have almost been with woman that has 'done' thiings wherte i hadn't I totally wasn't refering to that aspect of it... You have to think what is going through her mind as well...... The problem is,,,,everytime he stays over,he will keep asking me the next day if he was any good..... I am a single, 26 y/o, white, middle-class, very smart, attractive guy.I never went to a school dance or prom (even though my parents were not happy about it). I am too nice, and not aggressive in making things happen. This may stem from the fact that I even have trouble hugging people, and saying “I love you” to family members.I think that I have three problems: #1 – I cannot build up enough energy to go out and meet women. I am not shy in normal social situations, but just going up to a woman and talking to her is not a skill of mine. I am much more comfortable not expressing intimacy to anyone. I would consider myself over 10 years “behind the curve” and I really feel like a loser. I tend to be a “glass is half empty” type of person.

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