Research and canada and dating violence corey bohan dating audrina patridge
We are all capable of both causing and experiencing harm.People who use violence are human beings; it’s possible to feel compassion for them while asking them to take responsibility for their violence.To avoid reinforcing these effects, resist making decisions on their behalf.Rather than telling them what you think they should do, begin by asking them what they need to feel safe and supported.Some people who have used violence feel shame about their choices and may cope with it in a number of ways, from addressing it head-on to avoiding it by focusing on their partner’s choices instead of their own.Support from friends and family, or from a therapist, elder, or support group, may help channel shame to long-term change.Difficult and long-term personal journeys are never easy, but can lead to meaningful change. In this section, we explore some questions you may be asking about what it means to take responsibility for abuse.We invite you to read any sections that apply to you, and take care of yourself while doing so.
We avoid using labeling language such as “abuser” or “perpetrator,” instead using the term “people who have used violence.” Experiencing intimate partner violence often undermines a person’s power, control, and confidence in their choices.
Do your best to listen without judgment, and to gently remind them that any unhelpful actions on their part do not justify the violence they experienced.
These responses may ease pressure to act like a “perfect victim” just to see their experiences acknowledged and the violence addressed.
There is no such thing as a “perfect victim.” Some people who have experienced violence may voice ways in which they feel they behaved harmfully in the relationship.
This can sometimes be healing for the person who experienced violence, if they raise the topic themselves and are not pushed by others to discuss it.